Chinese Wedding Tea Ceremony

The term “Tea Joy” (茶喜) refers to the traditional wedding customs in China that incorporate tea as a central element of the marriage rituals. This term originates from the Ming Dynasty, in the book “Quin Fang Pu – Tea Section” (《群芳谱·茶谱》), where tea’s special role in wedding customs is emphasized. It highlights “Tea Joy” as a term directly associated with the joy of marriage. In some regional dialects, the entire process of engagement and wedding is referred to as “Tea Joy,” which includes key rites such as the betrothal (纳采), name inquiry (问名), and lucky proposal (纳吉), all of which involve tea as an offering. The customs related to “Three Teas, Six Rites” are still practiced today, showcasing the important role of tea culture in traditional Chinese weddings.

Tea as a Medium in Weddings

Tea plays a significant role throughout the entire marriage process in China. It symbolizes purity and the ethical values of fidelity and unwavering commitment. As the tea’s nature is considered the purest, it acts as a medium for expressing both ethical and cultural symbols within weddings.

Traditional Wedding Tea Songs

In traditional wedding ceremonies, tea songs are sung alongside rituals, forming a unique musical aspect of the wedding. For example, in Anhua (安化), Hunan Province, the “敬茶歌” (Tea Respect Song) follows the lyrics, “A cup of fragrant tea for the parents-in-law, wishing them long life and many descendants,” following the ethical guidelines of “The Book of Rites” (《礼记》), while transmitting traditional ceremonial values. In the Naxi ethnic group (纳西族) of Yunnan Province, the “Hejin Tea Song” (合卺茶歌) is sung in Dongba script (东巴文), comparing the tea cake to the “sun and moon shining together,” while chanting, “Three times the tea boils, the souls of tea unite, and the couple stays together for a hundred years.”

Three-Tea Ceremony

The traditional “Three-Tea” ceremony consists of three distinct stages:

1. Down Tea (下茶)

The groom offers tea as a betrothal gift, symbolizing his sincerity in proposing.

2. Set Tea (定茶)

During the engagement, tea is served to officially confirm the marriage.

3. Together Tea (合茶)

On the wedding night, the couple drinks from the same cup of tea, symbolizing their union as “one” (合二为一).

In some regions, the Three Teas are divided as follows:

• The first tea, sweet tea, symbolizes sweetness in the relationship.

• The second tea, plain tea, represents simplicity and tranquility.

• The third tea, round tea soup, signifies completeness and perfection.

Tea Offering Customs

During the wedding ceremony, the bride and groom offer “gratitude tea” (感恩茶) to their elders, and after changing titles (such as “son-in-law” or “daughter-in-law”), they receive a return gift of “tea money” (茶金). In regions like Fujian (福建) and Zhejiang (浙江), the “tea title-change” custom is preserved, where the groom’s parents drink tea and return a red envelope (红包) or silver coins (银元). Some rural areas still maintain the “tea carrier” (茶担) tradition, where a person carries a wooden tea carrier with decorative carvings to deliver the wedding tea through the streets.

Cultural Significance

Tea’s unique characteristics, such as “rarely thriving after transplanting” and “not moving its root,” have made it a symbol of marital loyalty and fidelity. The ancient saying “A good woman never drinks tea from two families” emphasizes the contractual nature of marriage. In modern wedding customs, some regions still maintain the “Set Tea” stage, where the groom places a “ten-thousand” silver coin or a hundred-yuan bill inside the tea gift envelope, enhancing the ceremony’s significance.

Historical Origins of Tea in Weddings

The tradition of “Tea Joy” originates from the ancient custom of offering tea as a betrothal gift. By the Ming Dynasty, the term “Tea Joy” was first explicitly used in the “Quin Fang Pu – Tea Section” (《群芳谱·茶谱》) to describe the role of tea in weddings, endowing it with the cultural meaning of “the joy of marriage.” This led to the creation of a complete ritual system: “offering tea as a betrothal gift” and “receiving tea as a marriage consent.”

Wedding Tea Rituals in Practice

In traditional wedding customs, the Tea Joy ceremony unfolds in three stages:

1. Engagement Stage:

During the betrothal, the groom prepares “Set Tea” (定茶), usually consisting of dragon and phoenix tea cakes (龙凤团茶) with dates and longan. The tea is wrapped in red paper and sent to the bride’s family. If the bride accepts it, it indicates consent to marriage.

2. Bride’s Tea Offering:

The bride, during the wedding procession, offers “kneeling tea” (跪敬喜茶) to her parents-in-law. The tea is presented on a red lacquered tray, and after the parents-in-law drink the tea, they return “tea money” (茶金) as a gift.

3. Tea for Union:

On the wedding night, the couple shares “Together Tea” (合茶), where both drink from the same cup, symbolizing unity and a lifelong bond.

In some areas, such as Huzhou (湖州), a special Three-Tea Ceremony is practiced, where the first tea, sweet tea, represents sweetness; the second tea, plain tea, symbolizes simplicity; and the third tea, round tea soup, signifies completion.

Cultural References

The “Tea Joy” custom is described in detail in the “Quin Fang Pu – Tea Section” (《群芳谱·茶谱》): “When planting tea trees, one must use seeds, for if transplanted, they will no longer thrive. Therefore, a marriage must be sealed with tea, also known as receiving tea.” The text extends the biological characteristic of tea trees—”not moving roots”—to imply the moral requirement of “staying committed to one partner.”

Marriage contracts from the Ming Dynasty also specified the use of tea in betrothal agreements, further emphasizing the contractual nature of marriage.

Modern Evolution of Tea in Weddings

In contemporary Jiangsu (江苏) and Zhejiang (浙江), the Tea Joy ceremony is still practiced, though the process has been simplified:

1. During the engagement, the groom still places a “ten-thousand” silver coin or a hundred-yuan bill inside the tea gift envelope.

2. The “tea title-change” ceremony is still preserved, where the couple changes their titles after serving tea to their parents.

3. Some rural areas continue to follow the “tea carrier” (茶担) tradition, where a person carries a wooden tea carrier with carved designs to distribute the wedding tea throughout the streets.

Over time, the cultural significance of “Tea Joy” has evolved, but its deep connection with marriage remains intact. It is defined as “the joy of marriage” and continues to be an integral part of wedding rituals in many regions.